Thursday, August 29, 2013

Perspective. Got some!

Sunday morning came and I swear between the four of us and our families it felt like the whole Ethiopian community of Colorado came to the hospital. I was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), actually a really awesome place they take the best care of you there I learned and you have a multitude of nurses who are so caring to your every need. I made some cool friends at that ICU I keep thinking of how I want to go back and say thanks and give them gifts (someone hold me accountable to that please).  It got so ridiculous at one point one of the nurses told me they shut down the waiting room, they were only letting people into my room 2 by 2. In my twisted mind I remembered the story of Noah and the Arc where they let the animals on the Arc 2 by 2 and kind of chuckled. Everyone who came  had about 5 minutes, they poured nothing but love, kindness and encouragement in my ears. Fruits of the Spirit. I am amazed at how much that does for me, I want to do that more each day for others.


The day went on and it went from X-ray to Cat scan, to blood test and they would do it all over again on a different part of my body. The cruelest thing happened to me at the hospital. Okay i'm exaggerating a bit but in anticipation for surgery my doctors had banned me drinking any water. Just giving me fluids through the IV. For days they refused me water, still unclear of when my surgery would be or the extent of my wounds. They had to be joking, it made no sense to me why and despite my desperate pleas and pathetic begs everyone was headstrong. No water. At one point one of my cooler nurses gave me an ice cube, you have no idea what that did for me. He told me he would give me an ice cube every few hours, it was monumental to be perfectly honest. I would get really sad when his shift ended.

One thing a lot of people have noted about me and keep encouraging me on is my positivity during this whole thing. Sunday afternoon was where this all began. After a barrage of tests and exams a group of surgeons came to me personally and broke it down for me. They told me every single thing that was wrong with me thus far. I had a lacerated liver (it was bleeding), my left leg was injured, my right leg was broken at the pelvis and to add 2 of my lovely vertebrae were also fractured. The list did not seem to end, my doctors told me I needed surgery immediately and that it would be 6 months before I was fully healed. I literally could not believe what I was hearing, I felt so sick to my stomach. For me it felt like I had a few bumps but it would be okay but all of a sudden it got so real! I just started weeping literally weeping like a child. I was beyond angry all I kept thinking was I didn't even want to go out. We had a responsible driver, we did everything to protect ourselves and everyone around us but somehow that was not enough. And now 6 months of my life were to be on hold, WTF!? I could not stop crying. I swear every ounce of anger I could muster just came to life.

My sister and friend came into the room asking me what had happened and I just went on in my tearful rant about everything that they told me. I remember my friend tried to console me really sweetly, I was far beyond kind words at this point. My sister looked me straight in the eye and with such a stern voice and piercing eyes she just told me to STOP. She asked me what would I do if I was dead, would I keep crying what if one of my friends had died. She gave it to me so real I couldn't even keep going. She just put a lot of things into perspective and soon much of my emotions started to settle. We could have died, any one of us, we could have been injured far worse.

But we weren't. That alone was enough for her.

There was no way I was going to sit and think about a 6 month recovery as lost time when what I was given was far too precious and incomparable. I was given a second chance. I promised myself then that I would look at this thing with a renewed perspective. That is why I titled this blog roundeux- round two. That is what this is for me.

Man, i'm incredibly fortunate. When you come that close to understanding your own mortality you have no choice. For me it was clear I had to be positive and grateful for the smallest of things, even a six month recovery time where everything else has to be on pause. Perspective can be life changing.

-HK


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